If you can make it through a trip with someone, chances are you'll be friends for life. Close quarters, uncertain circumstances, and individual agendas. Nothing tests a friendship quicker than a trip abroad, and we want to know have your friendships stood the the test of travel? Do you have a horror story or criteria someone has to meet before you'd even think about setting out on the road with them?
My ideal travel partner can both lead and follow. A bad experience that comes to mind is traveling to California with some foreign friends who had completely different interests. We wanted to absorb Los Angeles and take it easy, while they were more interested in checking off the sights from Hollywood Boulevard to Universal Studios and didn't feel comfortable doing it by themselves. Needless to say, we were miserable being dragged from place to place and they didn't understand why we kept looking for excuses to take a break. Lesson learned? Take time to yourself, even if your traveling buddies won't let you. Better for them to get over the slight snub than leaving them frustrated and confused by your lack of enthusiasm.
Of course you can travel with friends. The only real questions are: Is your friend's preferences similar to yours? and Is he/she flexible when things don't go according to plan?
If both are affirmative, you've got a great travel partner in the making.
Jack, I agree that it is possible if you find the right people, but how do you find out if your friends are good travel partners? I know that I've never been in many situations with friends where I can tell what happens when things go sideways like they do when you travel. You've got to find a way to test them when their feet hurt, they're hungry, it's hot, and you're lost...all at the same time. Other than actually traveling, how else can you find out?
I think that the secret to traveling with friends is being open. Before the trip, plan ahead that you'll spend some time apart while you're traveling. Talk about how you want to spend your time, so you don't find out in the middle of the trip that someone is miserable because they're not doing what they want. If everyone's style doesn't match, then split up for a while. Don't think that you've got to spend all your time with the group, just because you're traveling together.
We have travelled extensively with a retired friend. She started out going with Elderhostel, but grew unhappy with the pacing and the old folks (even though she's over 70). We find that we're well-balanced as a traveling trio, each bringing different strengths to a trip. We understand each other's interests, daily rhythms, and warning signs of an impending bad moment.
Austin, the best way to find out if you travel well with particular friends is to set up a weekend-type trip, somewhere not too far away or expensive. If you work well over 48 hours, it's easier to try for a week. We never know our own limits (snoring, whining, dawdling, rushing, being picky about food, whatever) with others until we encounter them, and vice versa. Your suggestions about prior discussions about time together/apart, etc. are all sound. If you spend time apart, it gives you something to talk about over dinner!
It's awesome that you've been able to find a great friend to travel with. Where all have you gone?
The 48-hour trip is a great idea, I'll have to try it out next time I get a chance.
Yes, and No. There is a friend of mine that I have known since I was three that I LOVE to travel with. When we're in our daily lives we talk maybe only once every month or two, but always pick up right where we left off. When I'm planning a vacation though? She is the first one I call. We have a GREAT time together whether we're going to Italy or Arizona. We have similar budgets (so important!), we value seeing the same things (we're there for the sights, not for the shopping), and we're both prone to extended photo-taking jaunts.
I have another friend that I spend 3 ill-advised days in England with and will never travel with again. Dissimilar budgets (she is down with spending $40 on lunch, I am down with spending $10) and dissimilar interests (she is allll about the shopping and I really just want to make my way to the next pier or museum or whatever). Doesn't mean we're not friends. Just means, we shouldn't travel together. :)
I think I'm more aware now that I just need to think about the person I'm considering traveling with before booking the tickets. You know your friends, you just have to think of them in the context of vacation... and if in doubt I'll just ask someone what their idea of a perfect day in *insert city here* is.
best lesson i've learned about traveling with friends is to make sure you have some time apart! it's ok to not do everything together. i usually have some sort of mission on each trip (ie. get my haircut or find this cool design shop) and i hate feeling like i'm dragging someone along (cool if their eager for the adventure, but i'm the queen of wild goose chases). even as an experienced traveler, or traveling with friends who also love to travel, i'm always surprised to see what a challenge it can be (who sets the schedule, who guides, personalities, frustrations...). the biggest bonus to having a friend to travel with is striking up conversations with other people (i'm relatively quiet when i travel alone, but in pairs is a big adventure!).
anne
This seriously depends on SO MANY THINGS. I've traveled with people I thought would be terrific to travel with and they were horrible mates, people I thought would suck to travel with and they were fantastic. I took a trip to Vancouver with a pal last year and had a great time - I knew we'd have fun, but really she was a terrific companion - and others, well, not so much so. There are just too many variables.
Okay, I'm a little late to this discussion, but I'll add my two-cents anyway. I've had both great and horrible experiences traveling with friends:
The best was my first trip to Havana in 2001 with my best friend from DC. Like me, he'd already traveled extensively and we easily settled into a rhythm: we did the group tours in the morning, had lunch together, then set off on our own until 8 or 9, when it was time to check out the nightlife together. If we met a romantic interest, we'd separate again and reunite for breakfast. That worked perfectly, because we had the benefit of enjoying the trip together while still taking time to have individual experiences.
My recent trip to Rio was one of the worst with friends. I was with my best friend from Colombia who had planned on doing everything together. That was fine when it was just the two of us, but once we were joined by three other friends of his, the situation soured. I was on a shoestring budget and the rest of the group wanted to splurge and were not very time-conscious, causing us to miss a couple of events I wanted to see. Subsequently, the issues of finances, competing agendas, strong personalities, and, finally, my decision to let them do their thing while I did mine made me look like a "gringo" sourpuss. I enjoyed myself overall, but the week the entire group was together reminded me of why I often travel alone.
At bottom, you have to know yourself and the type of people you're traveling with, and insist on some alone time, especially if you're an independent traveler.
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